Lessons Narcissistic Abuse Survivors Can Learn From Ukraine

1. Strong boundaries protect you. 
2. If the toxic person has violated your trust or that of others in the past, it is folly to trust them now. 
3. Whatever they accuse you of offers insight into what they’re up to — prepare for that. 
4. If you do not prepare for the worst case scenario, you will be ill-prepared when the worst case scenario unfolds. 
5. It is important to recruit and prepare a strong and loyal team that believes what you’re saying about the possible risks ahead. 
6. Know where your exits are located and know how to get to them in a hurry, if you need to retreat.  Pack a Go Bag.
7. Ask for help when you need it. Be clear and specific with prospective helpers about what you really need.  
8. When you are in direct harm’s way, protect yourself and those you love as best you can until you can regroup. 
9. Understand the difference between a restorative pause and getting caught up in the confusion of uncertainty and ambiguity. 
10. Train in balance, coordination and calm, so that when the worst case scenario happens, you are prepared and able to think, respond, and move flexibly, harnessing your creativity and preparation. 
11. Practice messaging flying monkeys with compassionate, disarming directives.
12. Trust that, eventually, the abuser makes a critical error resulting from overestimating themselves and under-estimating your resolve. 
13. Damage will be done.  Recovery is difficult but possible.  You will not be who you were before this went down, but you can be someone just as amazing after, and you will be much, much safer without the tyrant standing on your neck. 

Solidarity with the people of Ukraine, and with people struggling with and recovering from narcissistic abuse everywhere.